About ten years ago (maybe more, maybe less – I’ve been in the classroom a long time!), I started a Gratitude Practice in my class before each lesson. I’d noticed that the girls I teach would slump into class, whinging and complaining, and I wondered what I could do to change their attitudes.
You see, I teach in a very privileged school: one of the top private girls’ schools in South Africa. The children who attend the school are not all from wealthy families – some are on scholarships and others have parents who work very, very hard to keep them there. Nevertheless, I believe that each child is lucky to be there – there are plenty of schools in South Africa which don’t cut it. This school is well-resourced, has excellent teachers, and provides opportunities that most children (and parents) in the country would be delighted to experience. And yet, my students would walk into class complaining.
It’s not that I don’t believe they have legitimate gripes and concerns – they do: many of them start school at 6am with a sports or music practice, fill up their afternoons with other activities, and can be found at a public speaking event or play rehearsal until well after supper time. That doesn’t take into consideration the after-hours community service expected of them, or homework and preparation for tests. Sorry for the families with any kind of hopes of connection! All that aside: I wanted my students to understand that there is always something to be grateful for.
Over the years, I have come to value this practice so much as a teaching tool. I’m of the firm belief that when students have a sense of belonging, they show up for learning in far more receptive ways. The Gratitude Practice has become a kind of Check In in all my classes, and a meaningful one. My students listen to each other, they get some insights into each others’ lives, and they appreciate their own. I gain insights into my students which I might otherwise be oblivious to, which allows me to be a better teacher.
It’s quite beautiful the way that vulnerability shows up in a moment of gratitude: that someone who says she’s grateful for her gran can allow us a little insight into her world – she’s worried about her gran, who is in hospital having an operation. This small glimpse allows us to love and support her, and be better human beings. It also gives me a chance to cut her some slack if she’s not fully present in the lesson. Suddenly the gripes about having to climb the stairs to class or the long tuckshop queue are put into perspective.
The children seldom express gratitude for material things: what often shows up is family, friends, a roof over their heads, the lunch they had… Sometimes I get a kid who blows me away with insights like: “I’m grateful for colour” or “I’m grateful for diversity”. My favourite ever was: “I’m grateful for you, Ms Pienaar. When you greet me, I just know you mean it. You genuinely care about how I am.” Heart. Explode. Now.
Suffice it to say, my students have come to love the Gratitude Practice too. If I’m distracted or in a hurry to get on with a lesson, invariably someone will say, “We haven’t said what we’re grateful for today!” Sometimes, if we’re writing a test, I’ll ask them to think about what they’re grateful for and not say it out loud. Sometimes my students tell me that they’re already planning to say what they’re grateful for in my class when they’re in the car on their way to school. I think I can call that a victory.
In my own life, I’ve found that being grateful helps me to dig deep in times of stress and frustration, it makes me curious about the world and it helps me to get perspective. It brings on mindful moments, like this morning when I sat in a reading corner in my kitchen, looked up from my book and admired my garden. It allowed me to be grateful for where I am, what I have, and the hands that support me. What a lovely moment!
I’m grateful to you for taking the time out of your day to read this. If you’re an educator, I invite you to bring a Gratitude Practice into your classroom. If you’re a human, I invite you to bring a Gratitude Practice into your life. You won’t be sorry you did.
Have a beautiful day!
Lisa